There is this quote from a book that I really love. I believe that I stumbled upon it long after I last read it, and at a time when I was going through yet another change in my life, a huge pivotal moment people. I was forced for the first time to stand up for myself, to prove to myself that I am strong and assertive and not the cute, big blue-eyed girl who has always had people around to fight her battles for her. Through the yelling and hurtful words I felt a strong, womanly, confident and heated spark wash over me like a tidal wave… and I fought (very respectfully) for myself. I was woman. Finally. I really hope you all have experienced that feeling at least once so far. Ever since that moment I have been going about my day with that strength, that is all mine, in a firm grasp and it has been serving me well in every aspect except for one, but I wont bore you with that.
I think it was early last month (February) that I felt a pull to this book, the final book of the Vampire Academy series (told you far from a classic). I plucked it out of my totally unorganised bookshelf and started flipping through the pages, not really stopping on one long enough to read it. I cleared my mind of anything that would ruin this totally weird moment and with surety landed on one of the last pages. The text didn’t stand out at first but I knew why I had landed on this page. When I read it years ago it was one of the moments in the book that I really loved.
“…In spite of everything that has happened, I’ve never thought of myself that way. Being a victim means you’re powerless. That you wont take action. Always…always I’ve done something to fight for myself…for others. No matter what.”
When my time comes I want to be able to look back at my life and be able to say that with confidence and complete honesty. I want to have lived my life as the main character and not as a victim, an ‘extra’. So many people are victims IN THERE OWN LIVES! How completely insane is that? No one should feel that way. It is your time, your book, your show! The pen is in your hand and you are the only one who gets to say how your story goes. It is your life and you totally reserve the right to be the (strong, caring and loving) hero/heroine in it. No one should be able to make you feel any less than the absolutely divine and powerfully beautiful soul that you are.
In a way it reminds me of a ballerina. They look so beautiful and move with a grace that I envy, but they are strong. We can be like that too. You don’t have to have a hard heart in order to be strong and stand up for yourself. You can be beautiful and graceful…and sharp like a rose thorn.
Lets everyone start not being the victim a little more each day. Hey, go crazy and quick cold turkey. Why not.
I have so much love and respect for all of you.